How to Eat a Pumpkin, 1597

"The pulpe of the Pompion is never eaten raw, but boiled... The fruit boiled in milke and buttered, is not onely a good wholesome meate for mans bodie: but being so prepared, is also a most phisicall medicine for such as have an hot stomacke, and the inward parts inflamed. The flesh or pulpe of the same sliced and fried in a pan with butter, is also a good and wholesome meate: but baked with apples in an oven, it doth fill the bodie full of flatuous or windie belchings, and is foode utterly unwholesome for such as live idly; but unto robustious and rusticke people, nothing hurteth that filleth the belly."  

John Gerard, The Herball or Generall Historie of Plantes

Try some baked pumpkin! A few windy belchings are sure to enliven your week.

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Whatever happened to Jean-Claude Van Damme?

Jean-Claude Van Damme began his public life as a teenager in the 1970s—a Belgian-born martial arts prodigy who became a champion in both karate and kickboxing. In the 1980s and 1990s, the charismatic and photogenic "Muscles from Brussels" became an international movie star with starring roles in fight-focused action hits like Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Hard Target, and Timecop. (He even had a cameo as himself on Friends.) And then, just as fast and unlikely as his rise, came the fall. Here's how the man born Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg has occupied himself in recent years.


He returned to the Universal Soldier franchise

One of the biggest hits of Van Damme's early career, the 1992 science-fiction action thriller Universal Soldier paired him up with Dolph Lundgren to tell the story of Luc Deveraux, a deceased Vietnam War veteran resurrected by an experimental military program as a technologically enhanced super-soldier.

While it wasn't a blockbuster sensation, the film performed respectably, bringing in $36 million—enough to inspire plans for a late '90s Universal Soldier TV series which was teased with a pair of direct-to-video movies in 1998. Neither of those sequels starred Van Damme or Lundgren, and when the franchise returned to theaters for 1999's Universal Soldier: The Return, both of the '98 features were bumped out of the series canon.

Van Damme came back for The Return, and although his presence was no longer enough to bring in big box office, the series has proven impressively resilient: both Van Damme and Lundgren signed on for 2009's Universal Soldier: Regeneration—which ignored the TV movies as well as The Return—and the duo reunited again for the franchise-closing Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning in 2012.

He's still making Kickboxer movies

Before he expanded his range with science-fiction action movies laced with martial arts, such as Universal Soldier and Timecop, Van Damme played to his background with a string of martial arts-based movies. One of his earliest was 1989's Kickboxer, in which he played, well, a kickboxer.

Van Damme didn't return for the sequel, but that didn't stop Kickboxer from becoming a full-fledged straight-to-video franchise; for action enthusiasts of the '90s, the series became a Friday night mainstay, expanding to an impressive five installments by 1995 while serving up loads of chop-socky action with replacement leading men like Step by Step veteran Sasha Mitchell and future Iron Chef America star Mark Dacascos.

After laying dormant for more than 20 years, the Kickboxer franchise made a surprising return with 2016's Kickboxer: Vengeance—and Van Damme was once more part of the cast, this time playing a supporting role as a character named Master Durand. If it wasn't quite the starring vehicle the first Kickboxer had been, it must have been a good time for Van Damme—he returned for the the seventh installment, Kickboxer: Retaliation.


He got greedy and it hurt his career

Jean-Claude Van Damme reached his commercial peak with Timecop. The 1994 time-travel thriller earned $44 million at the domestic box office—the most of any live-action movie he's toplined. While the stars of other big 1994 hits remain major draws—Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump), Sandra Bullock (Speed), and Jim Carrey (The Mask)—Van Damme's profile fell far faster. Why? Partly because he miscalculated his clout and marketability at a key moment.

After the success of Timecop, Van Damme was reportedly offered a three-movie deal that would have paid him an astounding $12 million per film. Around the same time, Carrey made headlines by becoming the first $20 million man, so Van Damme rejected the $12 million and asked for the same fee Carrey had negotiated. The three-movie offer was rescinded, and Van Damme ended up on what he later described as a Hollywood "blacklist," effectively ending his blockbuster career.

"Jim Carrey was being paid a fortune. And I wanted to play with the system," Van Damme told The Guardian in 2012. "Like an idiot. Ridiculous."


There's a statue of him in Belgium

Van Damme is famously nicknamed "The Muscles from Brussels," as he was indeed a ripped guy born in the capital city of Belgium. In 2012, Brussels paid tribute to one of its favorite sons with a life-sized bronze statue, forever posed in a fight-ready stance in front of the Westland Shopping Center. A visibly touched Van Damme unveiled the statue himself at a special ceremony in 2012 and spoke at the event, saying the monument "represented the dream of a Brussels kid" and hoping it could serve as a source of inspiration for troubled youth. "If you believe in something strongly enough," he told the crowd, "it can come true."

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Why Angelina Jolie Doesn't Mind Getting Older

It’s pretty much the consensus that aging isn’t much fun — unless you’re Angelina Jolie.

“I look in the mirror and I see that I look like my mother, and that warms me,” the 42-year old actress-turned-humanitarian told InStyle. “I also see myself aging, and I love it because it means I’m alive — I’m living and getting older.”

Jolie, known as one of the most beautiful women in the world, acknowledges her faults (despite the rest of America’s inability to see them), but manages to look past them.

“Don’t love having a random dark spot from a pregnancy, sure. I see my flaws,” she said. “But what I see that I like isn’t about a structure or an appearance. It’s more that I see my family in my face. I see my age.”

As for her secret beauty tip, the Oscar winner has some solid advice: Be yourself.

“The people I see as beautiful are those who don’t bend to somebody else’s opinion of what is appropriate or beautiful,” she told the magazine. “I’ve always been drawn to people who are unique, different, and just simply themselves.

source:pagesix

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How to Survive a Mermaid Attack, 1527

British Library MS Royal 2 B VII, f. 97r

The mermayde is a dedely beste that bringeth a man gladly to dethe. Frome the navyll up she is lyke a woman with a dredfull face, longe slymye here a grete body & is lyke the egle in the nether parte, havinge fete and talentis to tear asonder suche as she geteth. Her tayl is scaled like a fisshe and she singeth a maner of swete song and therwith deceyveth many a gode mariner for whan they here it they fall on slepe commonly & than she commeth and draweth them out of the shippe and tereth them asonder... but the wyse maryners stoppe their eares whan they se her for whan she playth on the water all they be in fear & than they cast out an empty tonne to let her play with it tyll they be past her. This is specifyed of them that have sene it.  

Laurence Andrew, The Noble Lyfe and Natures of Man of Bestes, Serpentys, Fowles and Fisshes

The bad news is that the slimy-haired mermaid of dread wants to tear you asunder with her talons. The good news is that you can distract her with an empty barrel.

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10 Things Men Find Unattractive About Women

According to this article, these are the things men find unattractive about us women, written by a woman. You don’t need to read it because I break it all down, baby.

On Makeup:

Keep it natural. Men don’t want to go in for a kiss and come out looking like they just joined the circus. Remember, foundation is supposed to be invisible to others and blend in with your skin. Stay away from glittery or shimmering eye makeup and NEVER use clumpy mascara. Minimal makeup is sexier.

What Carolyn Says:

Yes, foundation is supposed to blend and clumpy mascara is no ones friend, but if I want to wear glitter and shimmery eye makeup, I’m gonna wear the fuck out of it. If I want to wear bright red lipstick and you have this fear of looking like a clown after kissing me? Honey, that’s your problem, not mine.

                                                     Thanks, Mom.

On Hair:

While a fancy hairstyle may be ok for a glamorous night out, men prefer natural-looking hair. It’s more attractive to look at and feels nicer to touch when it’s free of gels or sticky products.

What Carolyn Says:

Well, I have naturally curly hair so don’t fucking touch it. And when I have my Men Preferred Natural Looking Hair, I am 90 percent of the time, not a fan. It’s half curly, half frizzy, and pretty heinous to look at so I’m gonna go ahead and do my hair. I don’t like my hair all natural, I don’t give a shit if you do.

Obviously, you don’t have naturally curly hair.

On Shaving:

For the love of all that’s smooth — please shave. Men associate hair with testosterone and testicles so they don’t want to see it on a woman. Men like touching soft skin so say bye bye to the fuzz and make sure you use moisturizers and lotions to keep your skin smooth. It will send the message that you care about your hygiene.

What Carolyn Says:

I can’t stop laughing at this. I can’t. I shave dem pits pretty much every three days. I don’t like armpit hair. I’m a pretty sweaty person so having armpit hair makes me sweat more. But if you want to wave your armpit hair like you just don’t care, you do you. Other than that, I am 1000 percent too lazy to keep up with shaving. Shaving is annoying. Men don’t have to shave, why the fuck do I? Right, because society!

In the winter, I shave my legs maybe once every three months. Lady, I live in basically the tundra so I gotta keep warm. If you think I’m wearing anything but pants in the winter, you have another thing coming. In the summer, I shave my legs when I can start feeling the wind all up that bidniz. But because I’ve been #blessed with blonde hair, I don’t shave that often. When it comes to my body, I will go ahead and do what I please. AS EVERYONE SHOULD.

And just because I don’t wax every fucking part of my body everyday to resemble a toddler doesn’t mean I don’t care about my hygiene. Fuck you.

GROSS.

On Dental Hygiene:

Let’s face it ladies — men look at our mouths. Bad breath and discoloured teeth are unattractive to the opposite sex. Cut down on the coffee or red wine. Use whitening toothpaste or strips to brighten your smile and ALWAYS carry gum or breath helpers in your purse. You never know when that kiss may be coming.

What Carolyn Says:

I don’t drink coffee or red wine but if I did, I probably wouldn’t give it up just to find myself a suitable mate. I basically never have gum or breath helpers (...tic tacs?) in my purse. So if my guy kisses me and notices that my mouth wasn’t just dentist approved, will he be forever repulsed by me? Well if that’s the case, he is clearly way too high maintenance for me and can go suck a dick. DON’T FORGET THE BREATH MINTS.

My mouth is doing just fine, thanks.

On Alcohol:

Sure, a man likes to hang with a woman who knows how to have a good time but know when enough is enough. No man wants to see a woman puking in the bar bathroom or falling down on the dance floor.

What Carolyn Says:

If you peruse my Facebook page, you will find that this isn’t true. I’ve puked in every bar in Edmonton. I’ve fallen down on every dance floor in Edmonton. I still have a husband, PRAISE JESUS M I RITE?!

On Negativity:

Men like happy, positive women. So don’t complain about the lack of service at a restaurant or how long you had to wait in a line. Show your upbeat personality.

What Carolyn Says:

Um. No. But thanks. Imma ‘splain to you when I’m not happy about something. I am not a robot. I am a human person who complains about shit. And you’re going to hear about it. And guess what! I want to know what grinds your gears! Because humans! But I’m a woman so I guess I’ll just keep my goddamn mouth shout. I AM CURRENTLY SO UPBEAT, HAPPY, AND POSITIVE ABOUT STANDING OUTSIDE IN -40 DEGREE WEATHER BECAUSE WE ARE WAITING IN LINE TO GET INTO THIS PIECE OF SHIT CLUB. IS IT OKAY THAT MY HAIR IS DONE UP BY USING PRODUCT? PLEASE APPROVE THIS. I AM A WOMAN SO I PROBABLY NEED VALIDATION.

On Swearing:

Men like ladies with a little class so dropping the f-bomb in every sentence is a turn-off and does not show how sophisticated you really are.

What Carolyn Says:

Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

On Nagging:

No one wants to be told over and over again that they are doing something wrong. Choose your battles ladies. If they leave the toilet seat up, quietly put it down. If they don’t shave for a couple of days, deal with it. Let him hog the remote control once in awhile. Remember, there are probably things they don’t like about you too.

What Carolyn Says:

THEN TELL ME? This is how relationships work. By speaking to each other. But letting it all fester and fester will INEVITABLY lead to you blowing the fuck up over something so minuscule. Sure, you don’t have to nag, but if you AREN’T GETTING THE FUCKING PICTURE HOW IS THAT MY FUCKING PROBLEM.

On Being Needy:

Don’t ever drop your girlfriends and family for a man. Being too dependent on your man to make you happy is a turnoff. Expecting him to change to meet your needs is also very unattractive. They want to be loved for who they are.

What Carolyn Says:

Preach. Finally, something we agree on. OH WAIT, except that you contradicted EVERYTHING you just mentioned above. “Expecting him to change to meet your needs is also very unattractive.” But it’s okay that we have to change ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING about our personalities and daily grooming routines for him? Don’t wear too much makeup, don’t do your hair all fancy all the time, shave everything, cut out certain things to make your teeth nice, don’t wear too much perfume, don’t drink excessively, be a robot, don’t fucking swear, no nagging up in this bitch, don’t be needy. But ABOVE ALL ELSE, don’t forget to ~*~be yourself~*~.

If you want me to love my man just the way he is, then he can sure as fuck love me the way I am.

Source:huffingtonpost

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Haircuts that look gorgeous on older women

There are a lot of not-so-awesome changes that come with getting older. Wrinkles, a slower metabolism, and health problems don't exactly sound like things to look forward to. However, there's one department that doesn't have to change as you age. Regardless of your age, a gorgeous, vibrant haircut is your right as a strong, sexy woman. Don't think you have to kiss your long hair goodbye or give in to the gray hairs taking over. We talked with some of our favorite hairstylists about their tips for the most beautiful styles for their maturing clients.



Change it up

All of the stylists I spoke with agreed that the key to a great cut is being brave enough to try something new. One of the fastest ways to look older is keeping the same haircut for decades. As the times and styles change, don't be afraid to update your look. Hairstylist Jenna Mast has seen clients age themselves by hanging onto the same style for way too long. She recommends talking with your stylist about how to update your look.


Long bob

Our stylists could not stop raving about a clean, classic bob. It's simple, low maintenance, and always in style. According to celebrity stylist Mitch Stone, anyone can rock a long bob, regardless of your age. "A cut like this adds instant style and sexy sophistication," he told us. "You can't go wrong."

Hairstylist, Jenna Mast recommends a modern bob with long layers for her mature clients. "This will give you more movement and an updated look," she told The List. "There is nothing more dating and high maintenance than a stacked bob that needs to be cut every few weeks to keep it's shape."


Go for bangs

Celebrity stylist Mitch Stone recommends bangs for any age, but especially for his more mature clients. Bangs are always in style and can complement any face shape – but make sure your stylist understands your face shape first. Stone explains that bangs can immediately change the look of your face, so it gets a little dangerous if your stylist isn't experienced. "They (bangs) can make you look really young and sexy or make your nose or forehead look twice the size," he explains. "It's important to make sure you trust your hairstylist before going for it."

Stylist Ruth Roche often suggests her mature clients go for bangs that are long and wispy. "Have them trimmed often rather than cutting them shorter so they last longer," she told The List. "Fringes that are too short can look utilitarian and boring."


Don't be afraid of length

When it comes to our hairstyle, so many of us feel that we have to go short as we age. That's what we see all around us, so it can feel like the only option, but don't be afraid to hang on to some length. Jeff Stump, owner of Artkiteks salon explains, "Many people feel that they need to have short hair as they get older. This isn't always the case; it really depends on the texture of the hair and how their hair ages."

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The real reason we don't hear from Paula Abdul anymore

When Paula Abdul announced she was going on tour with New Kids on the Block and Boyz II Men in 2017, it was her first tour announcement in 25 years, according to Billboard. It doesn't seem entirely possible that it's been that long since we've seen Abdul on stage and performing, partially because she's been in the public eye as a judge on American Idol and The X Factor. But just what's been keeping her off the stage — and out of the recording studio — is more complicated than that.



The Corey Clark lawsuits

During American Idol's second season, contestant Corey Clark was booted from the show for failing to disclose his criminal record when he auditioned. When ET did their round-up of biggest show scandals, Clark made the list — but not for his elimination. Two years after he was dropped off the show, he came forward with the stunning revelation that he had been involved in a torrid affair with Paula Abdul. Clark claimed the fling had lasted for three months, and that she had not only paid him that kind of special attention, but she had given him guidance on how to take home the American Idol trophy, too.

Abdul's camp denied the entire thing, and denounced it as nothing more than lies. Independent counsel agreed, finding there was absolutely nothing to actually support the claims. Later, Clark would go on to sue others, including Fox, E! Entertainment and MTV for defamation, and filed a petition with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission stating that he was the victim of racial discrimination when he was disqualified from American Idol in the first place. The Hollywood Reporter got a hold of the official defamation complaint, which claimed that not only was the investigation done into his accusations a complete sham, but that he had been threatened with legal action to keep him from writing a book on his experiences. He went so far as to say that the entire episode had left him at "absolute rock bottom", and suicidal.

In 2014, RadarOnline reported that the $120 million lawsuit had been dismissed. No evidence of misconduct was found, there was nothing to support accusations that they had been intimately involved, and the court ruled that Clark had waited too long to file the suit anyway.

Tanning troubles

In 2014, Abdul was on the giving end of her own lawsuit against UVASUN West, Inc. According to documents acquired by The Hollywood Reporter, Abdul had suffered second- and third-degree burns after a tanning treatment was done wrong. The claim involved her purchase of a SlimStar infrared body wrap treatment, which left her with full-body burns that were particularly bad on her left leg.

The lawsuit also specified that in addition to her need to seek medical and surgical attention, she was left with permanent injuries and had suffered financial losses during the time she needed to recover. Just how long she was out of the public eye and recovering from her injuries isn't clear, but she also cited mental strain as part of the reason for the lawsuit.




The million-dollar driveway 

In 2009, Abdul was sued by Jill Kohl. According to Kohl, she fell in Abdul's driveway and was left not only in severe pain after the incident, but needing several back surgeries. The fall, which happened in 2007, happened during the filming of Abdul's reality show Hey Paula.

E! News reported on the end of the lawsuit, and that only came in February 2012. According to them, the parties' lawyers were able to broker a deal before the case went to trial, and the insurance companies were left to hand out the $900,000 settlement. In addition to that staggering number, Hey Paula's production company, Scott Sternberg Productions, kicked in an additional $100,000. It didn't go unnoticed that the announcement came only a day after Abdul tweeted, "Having a blast on @RoyalCaribbean Oasis of the Seas this week  ) so many cool things to do & plenty of sunshine!!"

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