How to Stop Sneezing, 1680

Allegories of the Senses (1561), Wellcome Library

"To stay the sneezing scratch the Soles of the Feet and Palms of the Hands; rub the Eyes and Ears; smell to white Lilly, and Bath your hands in warm Water... The Phlegm that runs from the Nose like Snot is stay'd by proper Remedies for the Cure of the Brain, whereby the Spring of such Noisome Humors is dryed... use some proper Syrup to correct the ill scent of the Snot's abundance." 

The Country-Mans Physician

Allergy season self-care: foot-scratching, hand-washing, fragrant lilies, and getting rid of the #*$&@ brain snot.

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How to Use Asparagus, 1568

John Gerard, The Herball (1636)

"Asparagus cooked with wine alleviates pain of the loins and kidneys, provokes urine, loosens the stomach, and frees the liver and kidneys from attacks, especially the roots and seeds. But if asparagus is used too much, it brings great harm, since it expels urine quickly, and irritates the bladder, which is bad. It is believed to incite lust… asparagus is a helpful food for a man, especially a newlywed having trouble in bed with an eager spouse: if at first he is unable to please his wife, this will allow him finally to have a sweet and loving partnership." 

Hugo Fridaevallis, De tuenda sanitate 

Ah, springtime, the season of love: the birds, the bees, the newlyweds gobbling asparagus...

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